The Artifact In Question
by Nighthawk88
Summary: Warning: trying to save the world from a dangerous artifact can be hazardous to your health...


**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters. I don't own Ghostbusters or its theme song either.**

* * *

The artifact was affecting him. There had been several instances he'd noticed when the artifact would work its mojo on him and he'd lose his focus for seconds or even minutes. In the worst cases, he wouldn't have any memory of what had happened during the time he'd been affected.

He'd noticed that Claudia had been affected by it on more than one occasion. She'd exhibited the same signs of an inability to concentrate when in visual range of the artifact. Though he hadn't noticed her suffering from the same lapses in memory that he'd had, he did notice that she had a hard time forming a coherent sentence while affected.

Myka was the worst off. She seemed to blank out and lose focus for much longer periods of time than he or Claudia had. Where Claudia stuttered heavily while under the influence, he'd seen Myka unable to form any words at all more than once. There had been several times he or one of the others had been needed to pull Myka out of the effect of the artifact because she'd been helpless to do so herself.

Maybe it's effect was enhanced through direct contact. That could explain why Myka had suffered from such a severe reaction. He'd noticed that she touched the artifact a lot. He didn't think she did it consciously, but while she was under its thrall her hands would move as if they had a mind of their own.

Artie and Leena seemed completely unaffected by the artifact though. That had thrown him off at first. He'd almost been convinced that the item wasn't an artifact after all, but he'd reasoned that maybe they had some kind of immunity towards it or maybe it only affected certain people. He'd hoped that Artie would help him, but Artie had brushed off his concerns about the artifact.

Pete hadn't been convinced by Artie's reassurances that the item was harmless. His reactions, along with Claudia and Myka's were evidence too strong to sway him. No, he'd have to do this on his own - even with the risk that he could be too affected to complete the mission. The artifact needed to be neutralized before they were lost to it forever.

* * *

Pete zipped up the front of a greyish-purple jumpsuit. The suit was resistant to most artifacts, similar to the gloves they usually used. They didn't generally need the extra protection with most artifacts, but he wasn't going to be taking any chances with this one.

"Dude, you look like you're getting ready to fight a giant marshmallow." Claudia snorted as she handed him the protective goggles.

"Just grab the unlicensed nuclear accelerator and meet me at the Ecto-1."

Claudia rolled her eyes, but grabbed the canister of neutralizer before following Pete out to the car. She grinned when she heard the muttered, "I wonder if Leena has any of those little marshmallows left over."

Pete didn't stop singing the Ghostbusters theme song until they pulled up to the B&B. He climbed out of the car and grabbed the neutralizer from the back seat. "Claud, I'm going to need you to wait here." He slid the canister onto his back and hefted the nozzle.

"What? No! I'm going too."

"I need you stay here in case something goes wrong and we need to make a quick getaway. This artifact can be very... volatile."

"Volatile? Really?"

"Hey, Myka isn't the only one that can use fancy words..."

She snorted at that.

"It was the word of the day on that calendar Mykes got me." Pete adjusted the goggles and started making his way towards the house.

"Pete! Remember, what ever you do, don't cross the streams."

He grinned and cautiously entered the house.

Claudia climbed into the driver's seat and waited. It wasn't too long before Pete ran out the door, stumbling a bit as he raced towards the SUV.

"Claudia! Start the car!" She started the engine just as Pete climbed into the seat next to her. "We've got to get out of here. Hurry."

"Dude, what happened?"

"It wasn't an artifact. Just go!"

"But if it wasn't an artifact, then why are we..." The door of the B&B swung open again. "Oh, shit." Claudia could only watch in horror as H.G. stormed towards the car. Her hair was drenched in purple neutralizer. She looked furious.

"Lattimer, come back here!"

Instinct kicked in, along with Pete screaming "GO, GO, GO!" beside her. Claudia threw the car in drive and sped away from the B&B as fast as she could.

"Pete, please tell me that you didn't try to neutralize H.G.?"

"Not H.G., just her hair."

Claudia suddenly felt the need to bang her head against the steering wheel... repeatedly. Somehow, she managed to restrain herself. "DUDE, she is going to kill you. As in, they're never going to find all the pieces to put you back together again."

A horrible thought occurred to her. "You made me an accessory!" She shot an accusing glare at Pete. "I drove the getaway car. She's going to think that I was in on all this, and she's going to kill me too."

"And Myka's going to be pissed when she finds out."

"Pretty sure she already knows." Pete smirked. "At least I know why she's always staring at H.G. now. Myka's got a girlfriend," he sing-songed.

"Dude, they've been together for over a month."

"A month?" Pete's face took on a hurt look. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"She didn't go around telling everyone, but she didn't exactly hide it, Pete. Hell, even Artie knows! There's the flirting, the looks, the touching, and how did you not notice that half of the time, one of them comes down for breakfast in what the other one was wearing the day before?"

She glanced over at the shocked look on Pete's face and chuckled. "Seriously? You didn't pick up on any of that? How-"

His Farnsworth vibrated twice. Pete eyed it warily. It vibrated again, buzzing impatiently.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

He shot Claudia a concerned look. "What if it's H.G.?"

Claudia rolled her eyes. "H.G. wouldn't bother calling to yell at you. She'd just find you and..." she swallowed apprehensively, recalling the look in H.G.'s eyes when the woman told her about tracking down the men that had killed her daughter.

The Farnsworth buzzed again. Claudia, knowing that Pete wouldn't be answering the device anytime soon, grabbed it and opened it.

"Claudia? Why do you have Pete's Farnsworth? Why isn't anybody answering when I call?"

"Um..." she shared a nervous glance with Pete before turning back to Artie. "You probably don't want to know the answer to that."

Artie frowned slightly. "Which one?"

"Both."

He sighed. "You're probably right. Is Pete there with you?"

Pete hovered over her shoulder so he would be in view. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Why are you wearing those- Nevermind, I don't want to know. I need you and Myka to switch out an artifact at the Smithsonian tonight."

"Claudia and I can handle that. No need to bother Myka... or H.G. for that."

Artie looked like he wanted to question that for a moment, before he realized that he was better off not knowing. "Fine. I'll have your tickets and the replica waiting here; your flight leaves in a little over an hour."

The image went blank and Claudia closed the Farnsworth.

"You think H.G. will have calmed down by the time we get back?"

**End.**

**AN: This was inspired by the idea I've seen around tumblr about H.G.'s hair being an artifact... and Myka and H.G.'s wardrobe choices, of course. :)**


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